A new year is typically marked by the traditional countdown that is done during the last 10 seconds of the previous year with family and/or friends. “10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, happy new year!” will typically be heard all around the world during this time. What’s so special about this moment isn’t the words or the fact that it’s a brand new year. No. What is special about this moment is the fact that everyone gets to start off the new year with people they truly care about. But what about the next 24hrs? I spent my first 24hrs of 2012 with people that are dear to me: my parents and friends. Things more or less went as expected, except for one minor detail. I forgot to account for the hidden feelings that I thought I hid away in a deep, dark area. I forgot to put a stainless steel padlock on the door that marked the separation between what I know is right and what I want. As a result, my first 24hrs ended with what I wanted and not what I know is right. You’d think that that wouldn’t be a big issue because I did get what I want after all, but that’s not the case. Someone once said, “what you want is often not what is right”. A new year is meant to represent a new chapter in life (in a way). It is meant to allow individuals to attempt to start fresh, make resolutions and attempt to follow through. A new year…is not supposed to begin by returning to the end and starting an epilogue that you know will end soon. I knew that. All of that. So why the heck did I let it happen? I’m not sure what happened…how did we get there…again? It seems as though we always go where we say we won’t. So what’s the reason this time? I thought everything was fine. I thought…everything was done. Apparently, I was wrong. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret it and won’t take it back. I’m just…confused, I guess.